My nursing story

I am applying for a great program on LiveJournal called Adopt-A-Mom and part of this is posting a nursing story. I thought it may be interesting to some people to read it here. It is pretty personal and if you are freaked out by reading about my boobs, I suggest you skip this entry.

Ava was born 2/24/09 and was literally rooting the moment she came out. I was able to nurse her very soon after she was born, but I suffered a very large hemhorrage that interrupted me and it also somewhat traumatized me and scared me. She was not interested in nursing much after the first 6 hours and passed a lot of meconium, but our first night together she wanted nothing but to nurse the entire time. I felt like I knew what I was doing but I felt a bit like I did not because she wanted to suck so much. I couldn't sleep out of excitement anyway, and was happy to just watch her all night long as she nursed.

The next day I was becoming frustrated and worried Ava wasn't getting anything and my mom helped me (she was a lactation consultant) with the latch and how to tell if she was swallowing. I felt much better after that but once I got home, I was still pretty frustrated and wasn't sure how to get the latch down.

My milk came in on the 4th day and it was excruciating pain, I was so engorged that I actually cried in pain for hours. I kept Ava at the breast as long as possible and also tried to relieve the pressure by taking a hot shower and massaging them out. I developed plugged ducts as well and that was even more painful. After 3 days all of that went away and we were on our way to a mostly easy breastfeeding relationship.

I have had a few hurdles. The biggest being lopsidedness. I had pretty close symmetry before I was pregnant and developed a slight lopsidedness when I was pregnant, but after my milk came in there was an EXTREME difference. My left was a DDD and my right was a small C. I was very self-conscious about it and scoured the internet for answers on how to even out, but after weeks of trying, absolutely nothing worked. I put Ava on the smaller one first but she would get mad and pop off. When i would pump it, I would get maybe 1/4 an ounce after 40 minutes. I would pump it for long periods between feedings but it never made a difference. After about a month I totally gave up on it and came to terms with the fact that only one of my breasts wanted to make a substantial amount of milk. I was able to find bra inserts online for women who have had partial mastectomies that made the difference unnoticeable to others under clothing. I think the biggest reason i was able to overcome the personal issues I had with this was my very supportive husband. He always made me feel good about myself and never made me feel insecure about my new cosmetic issue. Ava is older now but still gets a lot of her nutrition from breastmilk, but the dip in supply I have had from her eating many more solid foods has already made a difference and it appears they will probably return to even when I wean. I do wonder if the same problem will happen if I have another baby, but I guess only time will tell on that. I also met a few women on LiveJournal through the breastfeeding community with the same issue, and I also saw many entries on the Shape of a Mother website of women with the same problem that posted pictures of their breasts. It made me feel like I was not alone and helped a lot.

We also battled thrush after the first 3 weeks and it took FOREVER to get rid of it. It took about a month. I became so used to the pain that it was actually easy for me to ignore, and after a while I noticed it didn't hurt anymore and it never returned.

My grandmother's health turned for the worst when Ava was a month old and I took her on a trip to Montana via plane. I had absolutely no experience nursing in public and was very nervous about it on top of everything else (like traveling with a newborn). However, I think just throwing myself into the situation was really good for me and I became comfortable in no time. I could tell it weirded some people out, but my mom was there and I knew she would have my back if anyone ever said anything, and I was also always very discreet. I also discovered how easy it is to travel with a tiny one because all they do is sleep and nurse.

Ava has been off the growth charts in all areas for most of her first year, which meant a lot of growth spurts and what seemed like WEEKS of straight nursing. Just when I think I am about to lose my mind, she eases off.

When I returned to work 3 months postpartum, I easily was able to pump and had freedom with when I took my breaks, which was extremely helpful. However, Ava refused bottles for a few months and reverse-cycled. That's when I got locked into cosleeping, but I am happy about it. We absolutely love sleeping all in the same cozy bed, and we have had very few sleepless nights, relatively.

Ava got her first tooth in at 5 months and continued to get a new tooth every month. With each tooth, she would bite when she was nursing and that was pretty rough. She still does it when she is teething. I have learned how to firmly tell her no and stop nursing for a while (30 minutes) and trying again if she really needs to. This really seems to work most of the time.

I have also had overactive letdown the entire time I have nursed, but Ava handles it very well and we haven't had many issues.

At a year old, Ava still gets a lot of her nutrition fro my milk and I don't see weaning as being something we will be ready for any time soon. I am comfortable going until the World Health Organization's recommendation of 2 years and possibly beyond. I think that our culture grossly over-sexualizes breasts and I wish that breastfeeding was more accepted socially. I think many more moms who can breastfeed would if they had more support. But I also think the internet is doing a lot for the cause.I have come across so many knowledgeable, helpful moms online who offer great support in so many ways.